what am i to do darling im close to chelsie ive been with aaron ive helped your nieces and your nephew ive sorted out clare b and ive made sure jims ok. so what for me? i feel strong but also and i cant help this but i feel so so angry today. ive thanked all the peolpe who helped us this day last year. ive contacted them all. but now i sit and ive done the looking after and i think why? why am i here doing this i am so so angry with you and your not here for me to scream at. i am sorry for anyone reading this but i am so angry with leisa right now and no you cant tell me iv no right ive got all the right in the world. she was my sister and i was ready to change my whole life for her. she was saved and i had her back (so i thought) i was going to do everything for her and i was not prepared to give up andn now its a year and she aint coming back. this aint a joke shes really dead she aint suffering and im trying to make sure everone else isnt BUT I AM and i could slap her face im sorry but i could mylife is ruined because of steve baker adn my life is ruined because my sister taught me how to be someone she couldnt be herself. i cant win but i will always love her and im allowed to say im angry cause shes my sister. and always will be i just want her warm in my arms is that so much to ask?